Now that’s really complicating subject to talk about. Ok. Yeah..
like, everyone, I have some inferior complexes and Yess I do know that. But my inferiority complexes are one of the reasons for my anxiety
disorder. I always accept my inferiority
complexes and I never fight with myself because of my inferior complexes. But
its also true that sometimes I have low esteem panic disorder because of my
inferiority complexes.
Well.. my inferiority complexes lists are not that big like I
am introvert and I can’t just start talking with strangers or even with any
known people because I don’t know how to start conversation or every time I feel
superbly awkward in social gatherings then sometimes I avoid stores where I have
to ask for something and I can’t ask any
people in the street for help if I get
lost(that happened with me many times, I
was literally roaming in the street for hours before to reach my destination ). I just
hate talking… then I wish I could know how to have fun with friends.. I just
hate going out with friends or family and I don’t enjoy the idea of a get-together
or school reunion.. then I wish I have a figure like models so I could buy those fancy
dresses ( right now I am L size)..
yeah.. That’s all, I think..
We all have inferior complexes and it’s ok to accept that
and talk about that. An inferiority
complex occurs when the feelings of inferiority are injected in someone through
discouragement or failure (my psychologist told me). Most of the time these inferior feelings are
started growing into us because of a troubled childhood. Constant criticizing
your kids or keeping your kids in extreme strict household or forcing them to
follow certain extreme mannerism affect their growing days and YESS I AM TALKING
THIS FROM MY OWN EXPERIENCE.
I have grown up in extreme orthodox household and my father
never allow me to talk with anyone like a girl shouldn’t talk much, a girl shouldn’t
smile loudly, a girl shouldn’t talk much in any family gatherings, a girl shouldn’t
ask for extra foods(yeah right I still remembered back in days in any
stupid family gatherings or whatever, I used to drink water to fill up my half
empty stomach) and be like ghost shadow not try to do anything which attracted
people’s attention to you.. And thanks
to my father’s extremeness, I turn out into a socially awkward introvert.
My socially awkward introvert nature becomes another reason for
my anxiety disorder. I always accept my
introvert nature and this is ME …. But sometimes my inferior complexes drag me
into low esteem panic disorder…When I watch all my classmates are enjoying their food in the cafeteria, laughing together. I really feel inferior and I want to be the part of that laughter but my introvert nature stops me. When they hang out together I want to go out with them but I can't. My introvert nature is like a gossip topic for everyone on the campus and I can't blame them for that. Because of my introvert nature and inferiority complexes, I just build an unbreakable wall before me. People often avoid me because of that. I have tried to talk with them or tired to be part of their groups but my presence is like a really big burden for them.. so I just leave them and they gladly appreciate my departure from their group.
When I look back in my childhood I wish I could change all those
things for myself..
but no one can change the past.. People often
advise you shouldn’t let the past to define you but how. My past makes me who
am I today.
Inferiority complexes and low esteem panic disorders are now
my part of my life. Yess I accept it.. Acceptance works only when you know how
to overcome your problems..
Here I know
my problems but I don’t know how to solve my problems.
So my acceptance of my inferiority complexes
gives me some sort of peace but my nightmares are still haunting me.
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