We are Falling apart

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Texts are getting shorter!  Long conversation. Late night chats. Everything about us is falling apart.  Do you feel that.. I have started walking away from your thoughts.. Do you feel it.. I just don't want to save me But I want to save us! You are still staying apart with your ignorant self. I am dying inside. You are hiding behind your self-conscious mask. I  am losing you.. No.. I never have you.. You never let me, have you.. My concern for "you" makes you feel strangled.. You are getting annoyed with my texts.. I am good.. Maybe I am too good for you.. Or Maybe I am going over the board with your thoughts.. I don't want to bother you.. Don't any more.. I am letting you go slowly.. You never belong to me. I should stop pretending like it doesn't hurt. It does hurt. I did cry in the night. Does it hurt you! Or it's just me!

My Doctor And SHINHWA


Well, in this rough page of my life if anything or anyone inspires me to go on, then I must proudly admit that there are six dorky handsome Men and their songs &laughter advice, their cringe moments everything about them help me to move forward.. They are together are known as Shinhwa, Korean longest kpop boy band..❤❤❤❤

                                  


                                                    
Sooooo, when I told my doctor about them during my session she was like oh ok.  She was totally taken back at that time. She found it amusing that her anxiety disorder patient has been totally over the moon about six Men but still she doesn’t even understand their language.

Well, when your heart connects with someone, language distance race religion nationality all these factual keys become meaningless. Your heart leads you and your brain is starting working fast for you, so you can do fangirling within a blink of eyes. Yes, that's true. My brain works really fast at the speed of light whenever it hears "SHINHWA"..❤❤❤
So now I am going to write down the conversation that I have with my Doctor about SHINHWA and my fangirling life.

Doc: K-pop boy band Shinhwa ..hmm.. I heard about BTS... Shinhwa is like Backstreet boys of South Korea.

Me : yes totally. they are best.. they are like living legends.

Doc: so Shinhwa is backstreet boys and BTS is like one direction.

Me: one direction was disbanded. Don’t go out and tell others BTS is like one direction. BTS fans are going to kill you.

Doc: yeah I know today's kids are kind of obsessed about their favourite people, favourite things. so what about you. Are you crazy like them?

Me: not really.. at least I am not going kill anyone.. just kidding. well for me I respect my idols for what they are. I shouldn't do anything to embarrass them. So when people badmouth about them, I do try rectify them politely.  I don't indulge myself any kind of hated argument. Today’s people are judgemental..

Doc: hmm.. You sound really sorted out about your fangirling limitation.

Me: well.my bias, Dongwan advised us " Shinhwa is not responsible for your life" so Shinhwa fans are mature.


Doc: oh. He sounds like well-read Man. good. It’s very important to idolise someone who has a clear vision about his life. You know I am the big fan of Morgan Freeman for long time. He is a really wise man. He also inspires me so many time with his words.

Me: Morgan is truly remarkable man ..

Doc: tell me more about Shinhwa. ok.. show me..


And here I come with my Shinhwa stuffs. well I always carry all my Shinhwa related kinds of stuff on my iPad.  I shared everything with her. she is really interested... after listening to PERFECT MAN, she started humming the tune. then I made her to watch some clippings of   Shinhwa Broadcast. Then I told her about the struggles they faced throughout their life. I talked about Shinhwa for almost one hour. AND SHE LISTENED TO ME WITHOUT ANY IRRITATION.
                                                             

Then my Doc:  you are smiling…. So Sneha, let me tell you.. why are you fangirling so hard about these six Middle Age Men.
I was like yeah of course I knew. She interrupted me and OMG she really surprised me….
I am trying to write down her words in my interpreting way( of course she is going to read it).

 Being grown up in an orthodox Indian family, you want to be a carefree bird, all these men in their young age were totally carefree birds. Well that’s what I think after seeing that interview clipping (she is referring the noisy interview) then even after reaching a mature age they are literally farting on camera.. really who did that.. so basically they are doing whatever they want to do.. this trait of their characters attract you most because still today you are bounded by social norms.

Secondly, their sibling loves for each other. You are really close with your brother… well strict parenting wins one point here.  Thirdly, even after enduring so many difficulties they still are doing what they love to do. This inspires you. Because I know how much you love studying. Fourthly WELL THEY ARE FUCKING HANDSOME AND WISE HAPPY MEN.  THEIR PIECE OF MUSIC ARE REALLY GREAT.
 
SO KEEP DOING FANGIRLING.

Well, sometimes we all need one person outside of our Known Social circle in our life, who inspires us most. That’s why still people gather before SRK’s house to greet him because he makes them believe if I can then you also can.

💗💗💗💗






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