From the Corner of My Diary

I don't know from where should I start. I had my PCOS symptoms in the early days of college life. back then I had no idea what was PCOS, usually, I had bad cramps in my periods days and it used to be so severe pain that I almost fainted out in my college washroom. I also started having irregular periods then I gained weights.. My mom took me to a gynaecologist for a medical check-up. She hammered our mind with the news of PCOS after sonography report found out that I had multiple cysts on my ovaries. Now my doctor weirdly asked me whether was I planning to have a baby or not at that time. I was so shocked and almost fell down from my chair. I was 19. She then told me it wasn't a big issue until I would be ready to have kids, till then I should take the pills so that my periods would come regularly.  Now PCOS is quite a common medical condition but somehow society and relatives make you feel like a victim because PCOS is related to infertility. My relatives officially

Society and its social norms, customs which have chained you in a certain way.. The society always draws certain boundaries for girls women and we have to keep our self within that boundaries. Girls shouldn't do that. Girls shouldn't that. Girls can't do that.. I have grown up listening with "don't don't" catchphrase. Be a   Good girl... Conceal your feelings.. Hide your pains.. Be a caged Barbie doll.. There are two things which bother most: fair skin obsession of our society and Cinderella syndrome. Yeah.. Totally.. I just hate that Cinderella story from my very childhood. But our society adores that story like a pitiful girl has been rescued by her Prince Charming.. Aww... Such a perfect story.. It’s like a girl who is living in the pitiful state must wait for her Prince Charming to come and rescue her.. Yes.. A girl can't just rescue herself and girl can't fight against all odds in her life she must need a Man in her l

Now that’s really complicating subject to talk about. Ok. Yeah.. like, everyone, I have some inferior complexes and Yess I do know that. But my inferiority complexes are one of the reasons for my anxiety disorder. I always accept my inferiority complexes and I never fight with myself because of my inferior complexes. But its also true that sometimes I have low esteem panic disorder because of my inferiority complexes. Well.. my inferiority complexes lists are not that big like I am introvert and I can’t just start talking with strangers or even with any known people because I don’t know how to start conversation or every time I feel superbly awkward in social gatherings then sometimes I avoid stores where I have to ask for something and   I can’t ask any people in the   street for help if I get lost(that happened   with me many times, I was literally roaming in the street for hours before to reach my destination ). I just hate talking… then I wish I could know how to have fun wi

I don’t know from when it is started or what is the triggered point. I do know one thing that I am not feeling well. It’s not like that I am suffering from fever or physical pain. But something is bothering me and hurting me. I have lost my interest in everything. I have started skipping my lunch or dinner time. I am surviving on tea.   Whenever I am trying to sleep I am feeling like I am drowning. My hands are shaking whenever I am trying to write anything. AND I AM ANGRY WITH MYSELF AND EVERYTHING. Then finally I have decided to consult with a psychologist doctor. Still in my country, consulting with a psychologist is a kind of luxury taboo. People often make fun of you, if you tell them you are consulting with a psychologist. Here people never consider anxiety disorder or depression as a serious issue. Well, I still don’t tell my parents. The problem starts from here. You have to hide that fact from people around that you are going to a counselling session. If you tell th

Well, in this rough page of my life if anything or anyone inspires me to go on, then I must proudly admit that there are six dorky handsome Men and their songs &laughter advice, their cringe moments everything about them help me to move forward.. They are together are known as Shinhwa, Korean longest kpop boy band..❤❤❤❤                                                                                         Sooooo, when I told my doctor about them during my session she was like oh ok.   She was totally taken back at that time. She found it amusing that her anxiety disorder patient has been totally over the moon about six Men but still she doesn’t even understand their language. Well, when your heart connects with someone, language distance race religion nationality all these factual keys become meaningless. Your heart leads you and your brain is starting working fast for you, so you can do fangirling within a blink of eyes. Yes, that's true. My brain works rea

I have promised my doctor that I am going to write about my worst memories of my childhood. SOO… oh my god.. it is really difficult for me to even remember those days, I am feeling like something got stuck up in my throat and I can’t even breathe. The day I had resent my parents. My relationship with parents has changed forever.   Tears keep rolling from the eyes, it is still painful as a fresh wound. My parents always have that tendency to praise other’s kids just to motivate their own kids. You know reverse psychology.   All parents out there please stop using this stupid reverse psychology theory to motivate your kids, rather than motivating.. it demotivate your kids terribly and I am confirming from my own experience. So that day my brother, me and one of our friend were playing hide and seek in our house. As kids, we were running around jumping around and our friend unintentionally broke my mom’s favourite flower vase.   All three of us were lite

😊😊 DOCTOR AND ME It doesn’t matter how much I hate my doctor.   I just hate her because she can read me accurately. She just tore apart my veil in every single counselling session …. But it’s also true that she is the one who motivates, inspires me. IN TODAY’S SESSION SHE TALKS ABOUT LIFE.   AFTER COMING HOME I JUST DECIDE TO NOTE DOWN ALL HER THOUGHTS WHICH INSPIRES ME. Life is not about how much you struggle in your life. It is all about how do u accept it, but sometimes it becomes really tough to accept something which you really want to do but every circle of a second creates obstacle for you.   Every time you have just an inch away from your dream but something always comes between of you and your dream. Every single muscle of your body advice you to give-up but you won’t do to…..There is no ray of hope,   but still, you want to walk a few more steps, in your mind, you know nothing is goanna change.. still... hoping for a miracle. No... You are not craz

To deal with my anxiety disorder my doctor told me to figure out my own fears. Well,   from my early childhood I always got that Fearless tag with me. "she is totally fearless stubborn girl" that's how people think of me. But It is not the truth. I am not going to say that I am pretending to be fearless before everyone. I never create my fearless image consciously. Because I have no other choice except to become a fearless one. During my childhood, I had grown up with grandmother. My dad had his job and mom was busy with my elder brother. It was not like they were giving me less attention, actually, my brother was a good student in his school days. He was always ranked in the top five. Here in India people are kind of obsessed with the school results. Children have been faced discriminatory treatment base on their school results and Parents are literately gone crazy if their children fail to secure good marks.   And back then my parents were literally part

Hellooooo, So let's start with a small introduction. Awkward ... Even in my blog, I am feeling awkward to express myself.. and that's totally Me  👀👀👀 ok.. My name is Sneha. I am doing my higher studies in law. Law school gives me anxiety disorder and overcoming this anxiety disorder my doctor suggests me to start writing about myself, how I spent my day..what are my feelings. yeah that's all.. 😳😳😳 And right now I have still no idea what am I going to write. Writing fancy daily routine is really not my cup of Tea or Coffee, yeah I am not Jane Austin. Why am I really going to write? That my law school gives me Headache. My senior literally stole my last research work. My professors are giving me nightmares. My relatives are sucking my blood.   My parents are paranoid because I am not ready to get married. Yeah. that's my life in the whole frame. I told my doctor about my situation and she came up with this blogging writing therapy idea