From the Corner of My Diary

my love life .. my break up.   it's totally irked me. I had been in a "serious committed relationship" and this "serious committed relationship" was kind of sucking my blood from the very first day. After tolerating one half-year I  had just decided to put an end to this "blood-sucking" "serious committed relationship". So.. I was working as an intern in a newspaper house and I had fallen for him. How did we meet! during my internship days, I was totally into photography. I had met with him at a photo exhibition seminar. We both shared the same interests like photography, reading.. we exchanged our phone numbers and we started chatting..  and like cliche drama storyline I had fallen in love with him. From the very very first moment, he complained about one thing that "I was a bad girlfriend" YESS! And he listed out all the reasons: you didn't like couple cute name. you didn't call me often. you didn

I am tired. Really exhausted. Fighting a battle with your inner self is kind of tough.  Am I trying too hard! Am I forcing myself too much..  I just want to sit quietly for a while.  That's what I really want to do. People and their constant ranting make me tired. My father keeps talking about his life's biggest regrets as his children have failed him badly. My relatives are poking me every second with their typical "marriage" series questions.  I still don't get it why people have to say soo many things about my life. I am grown up mature woman. I have my own opinion. But people around me throwing their opinions on me and forcing me to believe that, accept that.  WHY! Why do I need to listen to them!  just because they are my relatives and I can't give up on them. or listening to them makes me more sociable goody girl. I DON'T WANT TO BE  A GOOD GIRL. I JUST WANT TO BE MYSELF. My messy frizzy hair..tanned ski

Winter Is Coming Cold bothers me a lot. I am suffering from Cold Fever and Breathing Problems. I have to take to Inhaler 8th times in a day. It's difficult for me to breathe. Not Doing Well.

My Room... My Comfort Prison... Before my anxiety disorder, I could share a room with anyone. I had been totally fine to share a room even with any unknown person..  But now I just need my own room my own corner. My own room is kind of messy disorganised hell but for me, it's my comfort zone. After a long day, I just want to crawl back into my messy room. My room is not a typical cozy clean room. I just have a few things in my room one bad, one table, one chair and my grandma's old almirah.  That's all..  I have to give full credit to my table and chair for tolerating my messy mishaps. I have pilled up my all regular clothes in my chair and my table is taken care of my books, watches, combs, creams and all most everything. My table is like carrying my existence.  My messy room gives me a kind of warmly hugging vibes. My room has been witnessing my secrets pains my failures. Sometimes I just wonder how a messy unclean disorganised room becomes my homely pleasur

Finally, after a long argument with myself, I have decided to take a semester break. I am tired.. Physically Mentally I am just exhausted. I just want to breathe.. I want to reboot myself with positivity. I just want to have a day with positive thoughts. I just want to stay away from all negative thoughts and people around me.  To bring positivity in my life I just make little bit changes in my daily life:    no phone checking after waking up in the morning : I have this habit to check my phone after waking up, even before washing up. The very moment I opened my eyes I have started looking for my phone. so my morning used to be all about tweets insta posts FB messages. After waking up from my sweet dream, my virtual life welcomed me with fake news, political propaganda and economic crisis or mean messages comments and as usual, I started my day with a heavy heart. So  I have decided to change this habit. No phone checking in the morning. starting the day

My psychologist, from the very first day of my counseling session she has been shedding light on one thing : " LOVING YOURSELF❤ APPRECIATING YOURSELF ".   During my second meeting with her She just grasped my hands and gave me the warmest most comforting advice of my life ," before falling in love with anyone ❤ just fall in love with yourself ." Most of the time we just ignore ourself. In our own lives, we just place ourself as a secondary shadowy factor. We all are busy living our life, fulfilling duties responsibilities and walking with burdens. In the midst of the hustle-bustle, we just lose ourself. We are just Living life.  While living our life we have trapped ourself in the castle of isolation. Most of the time we haven't appreciated our own efforts.   Life's journey indeed a long adventure sometime we should take a break and congratulate ourself for our efforts so far!! Let's not judge ourself from other's viewpoint. let not get int

How are you!!! How are you doing!! People usually ask me whenever I am meeting with them. Well physically I am doing fine but I am emotionally mentally not feeling well.   People are reluctant to understand that Mental Health is a Real important factor for well being. Mental Wellbeing includes our emotional psychological and social wellbeing. It affects our daily life. Being not mentally well affects our choice and decision making.   Mental distress, anxiety, depression all these are REAL not just Medical fantasy Terms. Abusive and discouragement treatment within the family during my childhood are main contributed factors for my mental health issues.   Beating kids or spanking kids is the common socially accepted parenting trait. Parents often admit that they have no other choice but to use force to discipline their kids. Well in my case I was never been demanding spoiled kid. Even today my parents agree on this matter. So why did they beat me!! The answer lies in ou