We are Falling apart

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Texts are getting shorter!  Long conversation. Late night chats. Everything about us is falling apart.  Do you feel that.. I have started walking away from your thoughts.. Do you feel it.. I just don't want to save me But I want to save us! You are still staying apart with your ignorant self. I am dying inside. You are hiding behind your self-conscious mask. I  am losing you.. No.. I never have you.. You never let me, have you.. My concern for "you" makes you feel strangled.. You are getting annoyed with my texts.. I am good.. Maybe I am too good for you.. Or Maybe I am going over the board with your thoughts.. I don't want to bother you.. Don't any more.. I am letting you go slowly.. You never belong to me. I should stop pretending like it doesn't hurt. It does hurt. I did cry in the night. Does it hurt you! Or it's just me!
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New Morning.. New Day...New Realization

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New Morning.. New Day...

 As usual waiting for my train.. with me thousand of people are waiting in the station.. yes.. when I am saying thousand, I literally mean it... we, Indian are loud people.  The station is literally buzzing with loud noises. Suddenly I witness a blind woman is selling Christmas toys, pens in the station. She is carrying a huge backpack and keeping all these stuff in the backpack moving slowly from corner to another corner requesting people around her to buy Christmas gifts from her. Then she stands before me with her bright smile and requests me to buy something.  Her bright smile lightens up my world.

 Now it's past 12'o clock but her bright smiling face keeps coming back to me. Still, I can't forget her bright smiling face. 

 Is my life much harder than her~this question keeps bothering me.  Why am I living such complicated conflicted life.. why can't I just smile like her. Why...

 Why am I making my life so complicated! why am I ruining my life.. 

 I am living a hard life.... but really is it difficult or I am making it difficult for myself...

 I should stop now complaining about everything in my life. It is time to appreciate what I have. It is time to let go.. 

 One thing I learn about Pain. It comes one day triggers your emotions then the next day it disappears.. then it returns again..  Pain comes back to us from the behind than wraps us into its emotional webs.  The moment you think it's over, the pain gets back into your life. 

 And I also learn... you can't ignore the pain..you can't avoid it..  you can't run away from it.. 

 So just stop running.. embrace your pain.. accept it.. smile at your wound and walk with it... 

 Yes.. I am in pain. I am crying in pain. let it hurts you... 

 That's what I Learn from HER, the blind woman. I am sure she can't overcome her difficulties just in one day. Behind her bright smile, it might be lies many years struggles acceptance and healing.. 





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